‘Was it that bad?’ ‘No,’ I replied. ‘Actually, I enjoyed it, quite a bit. I guess I just didn’t want you to think that I was taking advantage of you, being drunk. It also just felt kind of strange.’ ‘Strange, how?’ she asked. I took a bite, trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words. ‘I really can’t explain it,’ I told her. ‘After all these years of knowing you, having you in my arms like that, knowing that you were my best friend’s wife…’ ‘The key word there is ‘were’,’ she told me. ‘He left me, remember? Hell, have you even heard from him since he moved out?’ ‘How do you think I felt last night?’ she continued. ‘You’re the first man that I’ve kissed since he left. You’re the first, and ONLY man that I’ve WANTED to kiss since he left, and you pull away and tell me that you ‘shouldn’t have done that’?’ ‘You WANTED me to kiss you?’ I asked, surprised at her confession. ‘Yes, I did,’ she said softly. ‘Wow,’ I replied, not knowing what else to say. ‘Yeah, ‘wow’,’ she. .. It felt so right back then, so noble a construction ... And then the twins came, and we had to tear it all down and put it away, like a temporary stage.But it had left a trace, a messy maze that we were now lost in. Here we were again, talking of Truth, and yet ... Were we repeating the same mistakes from January? Was this leap of faith going to turn sour, an imaginary idyll that really had no place in anyone’s life?Maybe it was all just an illusion ... Maybe we were destined to go in circles, pretending to want one thing while being distracted by others ... In time, we’d all realize it was hopeless, drift apart and each find something on our own that wasn’t so damn complicated... Maybe that would be for the best, after all, I wondered, even as my entire being fought against this horrific idea.Perhaps that was the real reason for Heather leaving. To find something simpler, and to let Lara and me do the same. The promise of finding Truth was, after all, a false guarantee. Nothing.
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